CD 3 Update

    To start this blog off, this has been the WEIRDEST af I have ever had. Usually hell has broken loose by now. However, this af is unusually manageable. Maybe I am just getting "healthier" or something, would the metformin do this? Its just strange.  I thought the bleeding I am experiencing might be implantation or something, I know, I am reaching pretty far out. But, I have heard of women that mistake implantation or early pregnancy bleeding for af (?) so I have been taking hpts and not really seeing anything.  So I am expecting the flow to pick up, but today is day 3 and my cycle doesn't really go for more than 4 or 5 days (?). I am so lost.

    On another note, the last time I bought some first response pregnancy tests I got a fertility test with it. I know I have used them before, but I don't think I ever read the instructions. So today I used the fertility test by the instructions.  It is basically just an FSH test.

Results look normal, though at the RE he did an ultrasound and said there were PLENTY of eggs left, so I didn't really expect this to be elevated.

I have been using my ovacue, but of course we wont be able to tell anything with that for a few days... like 20 ish to be exact (since my cycles are longish- 46 days is the average right now for me.)

Nothing else to update!  Hope everyone is doing well! 

Say some extra prayers for a blog buddy of mine who is 12 dpo and is testing on Monday.. she is going to be the best mommy ever, her baby is just being picky about when he or she wants to be born!

eh, whatever

    I have been meaning to type up a new post, but I just haven't had the time lately!  During my 2ww I had a positive hpt but then found out that the tests I had (same lot number and all) were being recalled for false positives. It is kind of funny now, I mean, I am really upset about it... But go figure, right?! Things just don't really seem to shock me anymore. So, I am about 19 dpo or something like that, AF never showed despite the fact that I started all on my own last month.

    I started my first dose of provera yesterday and I am in hormonal hell. Everything is making me upset, I HATE THIS! I hate taking provera, its like, a reminder that my body sucks so bad that it can't even do its most common function. It also feels like giving up. I try to keep hope through every cycle and I  never want to quit believing that this is my month... but 19dpo and nothing...its time to start provera.

    That being said, today is my birthday.  Nothing special happened. I went to work where I had the strangest psych patient. I came home to a husband on the couch watching movies all day and a trashed house. I was so upset I just went to lay down in bed. I slept until about 6pm, woke up and here I am. Nothing planned, no cake, no dinner. I don't know what I expected. I guess I thought dh would have flowers...or something, I couldn't even get him to rub my feet... I guess my birthdays are just not as special as they use to be, its like no one gives a damn anymore.

    I have a follow up appointment with my family doctor tomorrow to recheck my a1c level and I can tell you right now that it has not changed.  I've been on my metformin, but when I was diagnosed with bells palsy I had some heavy steroids to take and I was told that they would throw my sugar levels off big time. On the plus side I have lost 5 more pounds this month... thats something my family doc doesnt really seem to care about to much.  All this appointment is going to prove is that I am a failure and I will not be returning to the RE in January, go figure, right.

    It just seems to be hard to have much faith anymore, faith is running low. I feel a bit cheated. I'm getting sick of hearing "oops, we accidently got pregnant, we didn't even want kids" or something of that nature. It all just makes me a little.. I don't know what word i'm looking for.

    I feel like I am flirting with the line of sanity and insanity.

Product Review: Ovacue Fertility Monitor and Vaginal Sensor

    Here are my thoughts and opinions on the Ovacue.  I received it a few months ago when I won a contest through my facebook.  I thought it would be the end-all testing device to finally get pregnant.  I heard a lot a good things about it. Bundled with the vaginal sensor, which I think is a must, it is around $350.00.

   I received the monitor a few days before the vaginal sensor ( I think it was because of the person running the contest). The monitor comes with an oral sensor about the size of a teaspoon. You are not suppose to use it until CD (cycle day) 2.  Needless to say, I couldn't use it for a few weeks.  When I finally did get to use it after a hefty dose of progesterone this is what I believe of it:

I tested every morning with the oral sensor before I got out of bed, just like the instructions told me so. It took about 2 1/2 weeks for the days to color in.  It is suppose to predict up to a week in advance when you ovulate, and then with the optional vaginal sensor it is suppose to confirm ovulation.

After your cycle stops then you can use the vaginal sensor every afternoon... At least two hours after being awake and moving, before midnight, and before or 8 hours after having intercourse.

It did "predict" when I would ovulate... based on a woman's average cycle, which I am not an average woman, nor is my cycle.

I emailed their tech support.  They were great, but I felt like they could only help me so much. She said that the colors filled in because the monitor picked up that my body had selected a dominate follicle.  I knew I probably would not ovulate, but it was cool to see that the monitor was working. I never did get a "conformation of ovulation color block".  I skipped ahead to look at the months to come and the colors were already filled in for a few days every month.  So are you trying to tell me that my body has selected a follicle for every cycle for the next few months..  yeah.

It did kind of tick me off that it had done this.  Made me sort of loose hope in all of it.

Another thing I don't understand is that you can only change information on cycle day two, no matter what, or it will apparently screw everything up.  Here is my predicament. I set it so that my cycle length would be 35 days.. My cycles are NEVER predictable so I really have no clue when my new cycle will start. I am currently on cycle day 36 today. But I can't keep testing because it thinks I am on a new cycle and I also cannot go in and change the length. See where I am coming from?

I guess I am glad that I didn't have to spend close to 400$ on this but instead I got it for free. I have heard that it works for a ton of people and im sure it does... just not for me, or at least with the cycles I am having right now.