My right side and my wrong side.

    Moved a few things around in ovacue and the colors filled in on the calender (you can see it above). So it confirmed ovulation on the 7th.  I am currently 2dpo.  Isn't it a fight to track down ovulation... Waiting all through af, over analyzing every symptom, blah blah blah.. What sucks is even though I have gone through all of that, all of my ovulation pains have been on my wrong side left side.  Even though my RE told me that if I ovulate on the side with no fallopian tube, my right tube could pick it up.  Rare, but he said it does happen!  So even if I do ovulate and everything is perfect, I could still miss my egg because there is no way to get to it. RE said that he will give me double or maybe even triple time (a year or more) on clomid since I only have one tube.  I know what you are thinking, they say it is bad for you to stay on clomid that long, but he said that is a myth.

    I wish I could test today... because lets face it, December 21st will be 14dpo and while I doubt i'll wait that long to test (I will probably test 9dpo... I know, bad me) it is going to suck to find out your cycle failed right before Christmas, my birthday (the 27th), and my next doctors appointment (the 28th).

  In a way I am glad that we are on an RE break, however at the same time I am angry at myself.  It feels like we have reverted back to before we sought out reproductive help. Before I just denied in my mind that there was a problem and that everything would be ok.  Then I came to terms with it and went to the obgyn.  When we were working with the RE we were doing so well, getting so much done. I knew baby was right around the corner.  Now it feels like I am back to "nothings wrong, it will happen eventually". I guess in a way it is good because I am not so stressed out, but I don't feel motivated to get things done either.

  I suppose only time will tell. I don't want to get too excited, but its hard not to.

Little PIInk Lines and Friday the 13th

    Teetering between positive pregnancy tests and negative pregnancy tests.  Yet another chemical pregnancy??

    This was an un-medicated cycle, mostly.  It was started with provera, but no clomid, yet.  So you can imagine my surprise when my fertility monitor showed that I was going to ovulate this month.  We monitored daily and did our part.  The two week wait came and is still here. I am currently 11 dpo (days past ovulation).  Yesterday I took a pregnancy test before heading to work and to our surprise, it was POSITIVE. (!what!). Tried not to get our hopes up and tried to forget about it. I would test later to see what it said.  Later that afternoon, same result.

    Today, nothing. Another chemical pregnancy it seems. But, Before I give up all hope for this month (and our July Friday the 13th due date) I will continue to test to the recommended 14 days (with my cycle length I should test until the 9th).  We will see!

  I hope tomorrow will give us a better outcome.  I wish these didn't exist, either be negative or positive and stay positive.  It is hard enough for all of us Infertiles to get pregnant, but when we do, can we at least carry to term and have a speed bump free pregnancy??