Yay!

    I was so upset the day that the RE called and told me he was holding off all of our treatment until my blood sugar lowered a bit.  Went to the family doctor and we started metformin extended release 750 mg twice a day.  He said my a1c would be down a point in a month and that should be plenty good enough to start back treatment again.  So my appointment is set for December 28th.  It just seems like we will never get back on track to start treatment again.

   So get this, I woke up in TERRIBLE pain the night before last... Had no idea what was going on. The next day, AF showed up.. without progesterone!  Turns out the positive opk I had exactly 14 days before af showed up was truly positive. AHH!  Who knows, I may not even need to go back to the RE?! I read that metformin can regulate your cycle and bring on ovulation... but I heard that would take months. I can't believe I started on my own and exactly 14 dpo.. amazing! My husband and I almost started crying yesterday morning, we were so excited and so proud. See, normal couples would not rejoice in a period, but for us it was like winning a gold!!

    I know if this keeps up, we are in the home stretch.

On that note I want to congratulate one of my blog buddies who just found out that she was expecting this week! I am so excited for her, and I cannot wait to read all of her updates on her pregnancy! I will be praying for a healthy and exciting 9 months!

Product Review: Ovacue Fertility Monitor and Vaginal Sensor

    Here are my thoughts and opinions on the Ovacue.  I received it a few months ago when I won a contest through my facebook.  I thought it would be the end-all testing device to finally get pregnant.  I heard a lot a good things about it. Bundled with the vaginal sensor, which I think is a must, it is around $350.00.

   I received the monitor a few days before the vaginal sensor ( I think it was because of the person running the contest). The monitor comes with an oral sensor about the size of a teaspoon. You are not suppose to use it until CD (cycle day) 2.  Needless to say, I couldn't use it for a few weeks.  When I finally did get to use it after a hefty dose of progesterone this is what I believe of it:

I tested every morning with the oral sensor before I got out of bed, just like the instructions told me so. It took about 2 1/2 weeks for the days to color in.  It is suppose to predict up to a week in advance when you ovulate, and then with the optional vaginal sensor it is suppose to confirm ovulation.

After your cycle stops then you can use the vaginal sensor every afternoon... At least two hours after being awake and moving, before midnight, and before or 8 hours after having intercourse.

It did "predict" when I would ovulate... based on a woman's average cycle, which I am not an average woman, nor is my cycle.

I emailed their tech support.  They were great, but I felt like they could only help me so much. She said that the colors filled in because the monitor picked up that my body had selected a dominate follicle.  I knew I probably would not ovulate, but it was cool to see that the monitor was working. I never did get a "conformation of ovulation color block".  I skipped ahead to look at the months to come and the colors were already filled in for a few days every month.  So are you trying to tell me that my body has selected a follicle for every cycle for the next few months..  yeah.

It did kind of tick me off that it had done this.  Made me sort of loose hope in all of it.

Another thing I don't understand is that you can only change information on cycle day two, no matter what, or it will apparently screw everything up.  Here is my predicament. I set it so that my cycle length would be 35 days.. My cycles are NEVER predictable so I really have no clue when my new cycle will start. I am currently on cycle day 36 today. But I can't keep testing because it thinks I am on a new cycle and I also cannot go in and change the length. See where I am coming from?

I guess I am glad that I didn't have to spend close to 400$ on this but instead I got it for free. I have heard that it works for a ton of people and im sure it does... just not for me, or at least with the cycles I am having right now.

What The World Needs Now Is Love

    The world is so confusing.  We are all about everyone being independent, making their own decisions, and being unique.  But have you ever noticed how much everyone tries to push their beliefs and ideas on to others?  By this I don't mean you shouldn't be able to talk about your opinions, but why when someone chooses something else that you don't necessarily endorse, is it wrong?

    For instance, I am sure you all have heard of the TV show on TLC, "19 Kids and Counting".  They live just upstate from us, we hear about them a lot.  I don't think what they are doing is wrong or crazy.  Believe me, they are doing the world a favor.  If I could afford 19 kids and God blessed me with that many healthy babies, I would do it in a heartbeat.  I think they are great parents and their children are a wonderful example of that.  They have unbelievable patience, unshakable faith, and great morals.  I think we all could take a lesson from them.  They have the financial means to support that family, they are not without, where is the crime?  What the world needs now is a great next generation.

    I have heard that people were "angry" at the fact that this woman has had so many children and they think that because of that her last child was born premature, as if she had done this on purpose.  Ignorance.  Thousands of children are born premature everyday.  So does society think that that mother should not birth another child because of that, NO!  It is a miracle that so many babies are born at term as perfect as they are.

    I would be lucky if I could raise my children to be that great of people. They have devoted their life to raising their children, made it into their job... Their life's work.  Instead of climbing the ranks at some big company, they have decided to do this.  So is a 19+ family for everyone? No.  But if more people would take their life to raising their children and instilling morals into those small people, the world would be a lot better of a place.  So what are they doing wrong?

    She has fallen pregnant again.  Due next April, Michelle, 45, calls her latest pregnancy a blessing. "Our whole family is so excited that God has blessed us with another child,". "Each one of our children are thankful to be here!".   


    There is a reason God is giving that family so many babies, because they are good at raising them!


    So is it refreshing to finally have a "famous couple" that can stay married, raise great children and still appreciate a miracle?  You're damn straight it is.






P.S.  Women have children in their 40's all the time... It is not a crime.  Don't believe me, check out your local infertility support groups.

A Family Picture

Taken the weekend before Halloween this year at my mom's block party.

My dog, Lilly Bo, was Princess Leia... she had a wig but she didn't like it very much!

Maybe

One day I am going to look back at this blog as I hold my baby and remember every step we took to get there.

I wonder what life will be like after infertility.  Not taking pills everyday, injecting yourself with crazy hormones, or over analyzing every test you have ever dipped in urine.

One day I will be so happy that all of this is over.

An upside

    In a way, I am thankful that my RE has stopped treatment.  God must have a special baby picked out for us and he just wants me to be super healthy before we can have it.  When I was upset about stopping treatment, it wasn't that I didn't care about not being healthy and getting my blood sugar down, I was just angry that I have something else I have to deal with now.

    I'm sure it will be a lot easier now to get rid of my "borderline diabetes" than it would be if I developed gestational diabetes... I want my baby to be the healthiest ever!

    I just hope we don't have to go on too long of a break, after all, we did just start working with him in September!

    Another way to look at it.. I am starting metformin and, while I was going to start it anyway for PCOS, they say the longer you take it before you start clomid the more receptive your body will be towards it-thus, it is more likely to work.  I was going to be on it 3-4 weeks before starting clomid, but now, it may be a few months... Maybe clomid will work a lot better for us!

    Who knows, I just hope we can get all of this situated.

Give me a break, I give up!

    Just when I think things have taken a turn for the better, life throws one back at me...again.

    My RE was concerned about PCOS elevating my sugar and impairing my insulin so, on our first visit a few months ago, I had an A1c test which showed slightly elevated.  Then he wanted me to get a glucose tolerance test.  After playing phone tag for a week with my primary care doctor's office finally got me in.

    It was a terrible experience.  Right off the bat my phlebotomist came out and said that this was his first time ever doing this.  I could tell because the glucose he gave me, I think, was too much.  I read the instructions and the whole bottle was 100 grams... For pregnant women testing for gestational diabetes they get 100 grams and non pregnant women are suppose to get 80.  Needless to say, the guy had no idea and had me drink the whole bottle.  After he proceeded to blow both of my garden hose veins in my AC, he said I would get a blood draw every hour. I'm not sure if it makes a difference but he was late 15 minutes past every hour.

   Longer story short, I got a voicemail from my RE yesterday stating that my levels were abnormal and they could indicate diabetes.  He then said he was stopping my treatment until I could get this under control.  WHAT? He is an endocrinologist after all!!  He had written me an RX for metformin on our last appointment, I don't understand why he just won't start me on that... I mean, when my family doctor called me with the results he said that's all I would need.

    So now after all of the progress we have made with the RE is gone.  You know how they say you are most fertile within 3 months after your HSG, that's gone now too.  I am so angry.

    I had so much hope with my RE, he was so confident in us and now that he is stopped my treatment I feel like I have no hope any more.

   Just another thing, I guess, to tack on to our roadblocks.

There is one thing I do not understand.  They said my fasting blood sugar was 177; however, I have been checking my fasting blood sugar every day for the past week and the highest that I have ever gotten was 130, the lowest was 88.  I am so confused!

All of the goals I set for us this year are now out of reach. What am suppose to do now? I am still losing weight, I am still on my new eating habits- what am I doing wrong? I feel like I am being punished.

God, I don't know what message you are trying to get to me.  Can't anything go well?  Can't we ever get some good news? Am I supposed to just not care about this? Please, tell me what I am suppose to do...

Little PIInk Lines and Friday the 13th

    Teetering between positive pregnancy tests and negative pregnancy tests.  Yet another chemical pregnancy??

    This was an un-medicated cycle, mostly.  It was started with provera, but no clomid, yet.  So you can imagine my surprise when my fertility monitor showed that I was going to ovulate this month.  We monitored daily and did our part.  The two week wait came and is still here. I am currently 11 dpo (days past ovulation).  Yesterday I took a pregnancy test before heading to work and to our surprise, it was POSITIVE. (!what!). Tried not to get our hopes up and tried to forget about it. I would test later to see what it said.  Later that afternoon, same result.

    Today, nothing. Another chemical pregnancy it seems. But, Before I give up all hope for this month (and our July Friday the 13th due date) I will continue to test to the recommended 14 days (with my cycle length I should test until the 9th).  We will see!

  I hope tomorrow will give us a better outcome.  I wish these didn't exist, either be negative or positive and stay positive.  It is hard enough for all of us Infertiles to get pregnant, but when we do, can we at least carry to term and have a speed bump free pregnancy??