A spot of tea.. and a few other things

  As we approach our first doctors appointment to begin treatment I had a epiphany. I felt like I needed to try herbal remedies. My cycles have been lasting upwards of 100+ days without assistance from hormones. I feel like the first thing I need to do is regulate my cycle so they can become more predictable.So, as my mom was getting a massage I ran next door to a locally owned and operated nutritional herbal store and came across something called "FCS II".
   It claims to nourish the female reproductive system and to balance hormones and for urinary and glandular system support.  Its ingredients are :red raspberry leaves, blessed thistle aerial parts, dong quai root, queen of the meadow leaves, althea root, lobelia aerial parts, ginger rhizome, black cohosh and root and capscium fruit. Today is day 3 of taking two capsules three times a day. I have to admit, I feel a lot calmer and more relaxed. I have done some research and it says it is suppose to help regulate hormones and keep your cycle balanced. On my ovacue monitor before I was taking these the numbers were all over the chart.. they now seem to be staying with in 5 numbers of the last reading. While I may not be ovulating yet, it does seem like something is being balanced out.
   What I really want is to start my period again! Right now I am on about day 50 of this cycle and frustrated! I did some research on what can bring on suppressed periods and I came across blue cohosh. It looks like people also use it for abortions which I could not believe.. but I guess these days, people do some pretty crazy stuff. Anyway, we have about two weeks left until the doctors appointment where hopefully I will get clomid. Blue cohosh is suppose to increase blood flow to the pubic organs and tone your uterus. Hopefully it will cause a period and I can start with a new cycle.
   Finally, I got raspberry leaf tea-" to strengthen the female system". Its suppose to be great before and during pregnancy to regulate cycles, tone the uterus, increase blood flow to reproductive organs , relax the uterus,.. it seems amazing. I just bought it a few hours ago and haven't tried it yet. I am curious to see if it even works. I hope I am not deceived by the pretty pink swirly box and I hope it tastes good!

  I will report any effects!! hopefully it will be all good news!

Faith, Hope, and Love

    Tonight Nate is working at the ambulance station so he will not be home until 8 in the morning. I went to work for a few hours this morning, went to lunch with my mom, and then came home and cleaned up around the house.
    This has been a good week. Nate and I have over come some things that have been troubling us and we feel stronger than ever. The love I feel for him is unbelievable. God has renewed our senses, our love, our strength. The hurdles we reach only make us grow stronger, and that's all I could ever ask of our relationship.
    I was looking at some video blogs on youtube and came across one that has had me crying for hours. I am going to share the link with all of you because I know that's what she would want.. To tell her story and hope that someone finds comfort or knowledge or hope from it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGMFO4_-pVM&feature=player_profilepage

Today my outlook is positive, I pray that I can hold onto this for a while.

we WILL get through this

Thanks,app!

This screen shot is from an iPhone app I use called, pink pad. If you are not familiar with it, it tracks your cycle days and tries to predict ovulation.. It's a great app if you have a normal, predictable period.. I mostly just use it to track the cycle day and what not.. Anyway, I seem to have a natural-non induced cycle every 4 months or 120 days... Look at what my fertility window is on this app.. I had to laugh when I saw it. Oh I can't wait to dart a provera/clomid cycle!

I guess my iPhone won't let me upload a picture right now, but what it says is: FERTILITY WINDOW:???

Lord, I love you so

Dear Lord,

Thank you for a beautiful day today and everyday. Thank you for opening my eyes so that I may see the small things in life and appreciate them again. Thank you for my job that lets me help people everyday in their time of need. I know we do not have much, Lord, but you have made us able to have just what we need. Please look over those tonight who feel sorrow and loss and are less fortunate in every aspect. Hold them when they are sad, I hope those who do not know you, will find you. Sometimes Lord I feel so sad about my life, but you remind me to keep my head up. I know you have a great plan for me and your timing is perfect. Please give me the strength to be strong everyday and to leave my sorrows behind. Please shape me into a great parent for my future children and a wonderful wife for my husband and a better daughter to my mother. Please be with her tonight, I know she needs you so. Fill my heart with happiness and patience... Lord I want to be a mother so bad, hold my hand during this journey we are embarking upon.. Give the doctors the knowledge to help us.. I'm trying so hard to let go and let it be in your hands.. Remind me everyday of the happy positive things.

I love you so much, thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for me. Thank you for the angels you are sending me when I am at my lowest. Please Lord, forgive me for my sins.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Please, tell me when!!

    So like my previous post says, we have been cracking down on our infertility.. We have been doing opk's for 2 months.. and I am so irregular, it is insane.. I am currently on CD 36 and there are no signs of an af or a baby. Opk's have been so hard for me to read, sometimes I swear they are positive and sometimes there is no line at all.. I'm beginning to wonder what other kind of medical condition I have. Am I even ovulating!?!? My fertility frustration is going through the roof. I though that opk's were God-sent, but now I am even more confused.
    Doing some research I found a fertility monitor (i'm sure most of you are familiar with this), an electronic fertility monitor.. no pee required! I guess I discovered it about the same time we decided to get ovulation test strips.. but the monitor was $350! Not that we couldn't get it, but I almost just couldn't justify spending that much on something. As bad as I wanted it, I decided to wait.
    On facebook, I am a fan of the page "999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility" its pretty funny sometimes, you have to check it out. Anyway, sometimes they do contests, I just happened to come across the current contest, an Ovacue fertility montior/with the vaginal sensor that confirms ovulation (an extra $100 to buy).. You had to come up with an ovulation poem.. So I entered one and then helped my husband come up with one.. A week later.. WE WON!! I was so excited I cried for like an hour. Now we are awaiting it to come in the mail.. Its been a week so it should be here any day now.
    I hope our luck will continue to be good!!! Come on babies!

A rant.

    With all of the groups I belong to about infertility, I ran into one woman that I think about all the time.. of course all of us had things in common but the one thing her and I shared is age.

  Here is my rant for all of you ladies out there who have not reached the age of  "the public will support your trying to get pregnant because we believe you are old enough now".

  I don't think that because I am "only" 21 that I would be a bad parent. I have a stable job, an education,a steady income, a wonderful husband and a great home. So at what point does society decide that you do not have to be criticized anymore about your age? I know parents reaching their 30's who suck at it.. badly.. and I have a great friend that has just 19 who is the most amazing mother I have ever seen. I believe I am so depressed with my situation because I was afraid to reach out for help, because of my age. Only just now am I coming to the point that I don't care what everyone thinks.. My husband and I know when is right for us. Not our family or friends or strangers.
   I am so tired of the "oh you have plenty of time", or "you are so young!'' speech. We don't have plenty of time.. my right fallopian tube is like a freaking ticking time bomb.. any little twinge or pain I feel on that side sends my heart into asystole because I am terrified of another hydrosalphinx, which is bound to happen.
  At this point, we are parents with no children. It feels like our life is at a standstill until we can jump this hurdle. God is watching over us.. we knew we wanted children some time ago - and we were not going to prevent it. Something washed over the both of us, a feeling like we had a mission to get pregnant NOW, as if it were our only hope--yeah yeah, even before we were married. We listened to everyone who told us we were too young and didn't need children.. And when we decided to really start trying, I came up with a hydrosalphinx.. It just makes me so angry because we should of listened to that voice that told us we needed to get pregnant now-- I feel like if I wouldn't of let everyone make that decision for us we would not be going through this now. But since we ignored our own intuition we are now paying the price..literally.

 Infertility has turned me into someone I did not want to become. I am angry all the time. Some days it hurts to look at pregnant women and infants. Other days I appreciate the miracle of conception even more. The human body amazes me. I am shocked at how pregnancy can occur without any man-made interference.. people get pregnant on accident! That is a predicament I would love to experience!

  Our pastor once said that The Bible never says that God will never give you more than you can handle.. in fact it says God will always give you more than you can handle because he wants you to come to him for help.     Lord, we are calling on you so much right now- if us being parents is not your will-please release the anger and frustration we feel and teach us acceptance.

My introduction

This will be my first post to what I hope to be a reaching hand out to others.

I guess as with all infertility matters, when you meet someone new online you go with your standard-this is my name and these are the issues my husband and I have- these are our attempts and how they turned out..
So here goes.

My name is Jenna, I am 21 years aged and I was diagnosed with an unexplained (most likely from a recent miscarriage)  unilateral hydrosalphinx in March of 2011 .My dh is 23, we have not done any testing with him- so that ground is unknown.We just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary and are so ready to expand our famil. We have been trying for a while with some success. My uterus has decided that it does not want to carry a baby at this point :(. The farthest gestation we have accomplished has been around 7 weeks- which was conceived in late January of this year.

Currently we are not on any treatments, except for me-weight loss- which I have already lost 15lbs or 6% of my weight since my hydrosalphix was removed June 3rd, also this year. However, we have decided to get more serious and start doing opks (ovulation predictor kits).. I believe I ovulated this month.. but who really knows, right?! I did get a positive on an hpt this Sunday/early morning (the 31st) but all have been negative since.

Currently on CD 25/in the middle of the 2ww

So i'm not sure what else to add as it is 3 in the morning and I am finally thinking about that square thing in the bedroom that is kinda fluffy with a blanket and pillows on it.

I will attempt to update as frequently as possible for anyone out there who cares to read my rambles