Hey there, I know it has been a while. First off, I randomly started AF yesterday. It was a 31 day cycle for me. For the last 6 months my cycle lengths have been 45-50 days. Which is weird, becuase I had to stop taking metformin about 2-3 weeks ago because of some illness I was going through.
Total different story. At the begining of the month my doctor thought I was having an appendicitis. Was going to go in for surgery that night, but they figured out that it was not an appendicitis. I ended up with gastroenteritis... which is like metformin side effects times 100. I lost 15lbs in 5 days. I felt like I was literally going to die. About a week and a half later I feel better.
Think everything is fine now? Not quite. I woke up the day before yesterday with a terrible toothache. Went to the dentist that day and they scheduled me for surgery the next day (yesterday) to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed! So yesterday I had that done. It was a really weird experience. Here I am though, one day after the surgery and I am feeling ok. I am a little sore, and the only thing I can eat is mashed potatoes and ice cream.... Which I normally love but when thats all I can eat, its getting old!!!!
We are still going back to the RE on March 5th. Still excited!!
Not much else is going on. I have no idea when I will ovulate this cycle. It seems each cycle is getting shorter and shorter. Which is good, but now I have no idea when I will ovulate!!!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
CD 3 Update
To start this blog off, this has been the WEIRDEST af I have ever had. Usually hell has broken loose by now. However, this af is unusually manageable. Maybe I am just getting "healthier" or something, would the metformin do this? Its just strange. I thought the bleeding I am experiencing might be implantation or something, I know, I am reaching pretty far out. But, I have heard of women that mistake implantation or early pregnancy bleeding for af (?) so I have been taking hpts and not really seeing anything. So I am expecting the flow to pick up, but today is day 3 and my cycle doesn't really go for more than 4 or 5 days (?). I am so lost.
On another note, the last time I bought some first response pregnancy tests I got a fertility test with it. I know I have used them before, but I don't think I ever read the instructions. So today I used the fertility test by the instructions. It is basically just an FSH test.
On another note, the last time I bought some first response pregnancy tests I got a fertility test with it. I know I have used them before, but I don't think I ever read the instructions. So today I used the fertility test by the instructions. It is basically just an FSH test.
Results look normal, though at the RE he did an ultrasound and said there were PLENTY of eggs left, so I didn't really expect this to be elevated.
I have been using my ovacue, but of course we wont be able to tell anything with that for a few days... like 20 ish to be exact (since my cycles are longish- 46 days is the average right now for me.)
Nothing else to update! Hope everyone is doing well!
Say some extra prayers for a blog buddy of mine who is 12 dpo and is testing on Monday.. she is going to be the best mommy ever, her baby is just being picky about when he or she wants to be born!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Cycle day 1 and some good news
I am sitting here at work typing this on my iPhone, just wanted to share with everyonethe news that we got yesterday. My family doctor called and said my a1c is now 6.6%! ok ok, it's not great and I didn't think it was that much better (6.8 in November) but apparently it was great news to Dr.M, my re! He was ecstatic! He was talking with my family doc and ok'd me to start back fertility treatment attye heck ing of March! Woohoo! I wasnt expecting this so soon I guess.. I thought it was going to have to be a lot lower. Dr. M expalained to family doc that he just wanted it under 7% and it was originally, but wanted to get it a little lower just to make sure baby will be absolutely healthy. He said I probably could have been with child by now but the chance of birth defects was high (I don't understand why, just because of sugar level?). Anyway, should be startin clomid in March. I hope it will work extra great since I will have been on metformin for 5 months by then. Don't have the exact date of the appointment, I will call at 8 today.
Another thing, I started a 12 day bottle of provera about 7 days ago and af showed this morning.. That's weird isn't It?? I did some calculations yesterday and I think I may have ovulated on the 28th ish, meaning I am not out yet.. Which would make today 8 dpo, had some spotting on the 3rd and some cramping. I'm sure it's af, but not really sure at the same time.I will keep you all updated!
Another thing, I started a 12 day bottle of provera about 7 days ago and af showed this morning.. That's weird isn't It?? I did some calculations yesterday and I think I may have ovulated on the 28th ish, meaning I am not out yet.. Which would make today 8 dpo, had some spotting on the 3rd and some cramping. I'm sure it's af, but not really sure at the same time.I will keep you all updated!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Farewell 2011, you suck!
Yeah, the title says it all. 2011 sucked badly. Everything terrible happened this year. My husband thinks I am being negative, however, I think the facts say it all. Lets do a time line, shall we?
January 2011-Started a new job
Moved into a new house. Not an actual`"new" place, it needed (needs) some major renovations
Found out we were pregnant!! Totally ecstatic and scared s*!*$less at the same time!
February 2011- Had a m/c at 7 weeks and to top it off had a Dr that said, "whats the big deal, you can get
pregnant again"
Had the worst AF you could ever imagine as my body expelled our bean.
Got a new doctor and fired the B!tch doctor. Told him I was having terrible abdominal pain,
he ordered an ultrasound.
March 2011- Went in for an ultrasound and they told me my husband couldn't come back with me. Totally
uncool, we are with each other 100% of the way with this and they separated us :(. The lady
let me look at the screen until she quickly turned it away and told me I couldn't look.
April 2011- Tried calling my doctor every day for a month to get my ultrasound results, found out he was on a month long vacation and I would have to wait.
May 2011- the b!tch doctor read my results and tried to tell me I had a sexually transmitted disease. My
husband and I tried to find out who cheated on who.
A couple days later my regular doctor called to have me come in. Found out I did NOT have an
STD but a hydrosalphinx and he told me it was no big deal and it could be taken care of.
Went to obgyn who said that I would for sure have to loose my fallopian tube. Did an
endometrial biopsy or EMB which landed me in the hospital for 3 days.
I was pissed that I had to have a partial hysterectomy at 21.
June 2011- Had left fallopian tube removed. VERY painful!
July 2011- celebrated 1st wedding anniversary!
Obgyn refused to help with infertility or at least try a round of clomid for fear of lawsuit (yeah,
really, right!) Referred to reproductive endocrinologist.
August 2011- First appointment with RE, diagnosed with PCOS. Started provera because I was currently on
CD 180 at time of appointment.
September 2011- Semen analysis showed normal despite RE's suspicion of low count because of DH's
undecended testical that was corrected at birth.
October 2011- Had hysterosalphingogram or HSG, PPAAAIINNFULL!, showed compleatly normal
right side :D :D :D, and compleatly nonfunctional left side.
Had glucose tolerance test which showed abnormal.
November 2011- Had a1c drawn at RE's office, showed 6.8 and RE decided to drop all treatment plans until
it is "under control".
Went to family doctor to formulate a plan. Dr was as stunned as we were as to why the RE
sent us to a family doctor to control insulin resistance when it was infact caused by PCOS.
Started metformin er 750 mg twice a day.
Ovulated and had af all on my own.
December 2011- took a pregnancy test at 6 dpo which showed a BFP!!!!! ECSTATIC!!!!!!!!!!! Couldn't
believe it!
Took more hpt's and all showed negative. Found out the brand I was using was recalled for
false positives, FML.
Metformin upped to 2000 mg's a day.
Fertility plan still unknown at this point.
So as you can see, this is not me being negative, its just the facts! Just so we're clear, nothing good happened this year, nothing really, I swear. I am clinically depressed at this point. Mainly because we cannot continue on with fertility treatments because my body is hardly responding to metformin. I really hope 2012 is a better year for us. The only thing that could happen to be worse is to loose my other tube or have another m/c. It has got to be a good year. I'm going to get my body into tip top shape for a baby!
January 2011-Started a new job
Moved into a new house. Not an actual`"new" place, it needed (needs) some major renovations
Found out we were pregnant!! Totally ecstatic and scared s*!*$less at the same time!
February 2011- Had a m/c at 7 weeks and to top it off had a Dr that said, "whats the big deal, you can get
pregnant again"
Had the worst AF you could ever imagine as my body expelled our bean.
Got a new doctor and fired the B!tch doctor. Told him I was having terrible abdominal pain,
he ordered an ultrasound.
March 2011- Went in for an ultrasound and they told me my husband couldn't come back with me. Totally
uncool, we are with each other 100% of the way with this and they separated us :(. The lady
let me look at the screen until she quickly turned it away and told me I couldn't look.
April 2011- Tried calling my doctor every day for a month to get my ultrasound results, found out he was on a month long vacation and I would have to wait.
May 2011- the b!tch doctor read my results and tried to tell me I had a sexually transmitted disease. My
husband and I tried to find out who cheated on who.
A couple days later my regular doctor called to have me come in. Found out I did NOT have an
STD but a hydrosalphinx and he told me it was no big deal and it could be taken care of.
Went to obgyn who said that I would for sure have to loose my fallopian tube. Did an
endometrial biopsy or EMB which landed me in the hospital for 3 days.
I was pissed that I had to have a partial hysterectomy at 21.
June 2011- Had left fallopian tube removed. VERY painful!
July 2011- celebrated 1st wedding anniversary!
Obgyn refused to help with infertility or at least try a round of clomid for fear of lawsuit (yeah,
really, right!) Referred to reproductive endocrinologist.
August 2011- First appointment with RE, diagnosed with PCOS. Started provera because I was currently on
CD 180 at time of appointment.
September 2011- Semen analysis showed normal despite RE's suspicion of low count because of DH's
undecended testical that was corrected at birth.
October 2011- Had hysterosalphingogram or HSG, PPAAAIINNFULL!, showed compleatly normal
right side :D :D :D, and compleatly nonfunctional left side.
Had glucose tolerance test which showed abnormal.
November 2011- Had a1c drawn at RE's office, showed 6.8 and RE decided to drop all treatment plans until
it is "under control".
Went to family doctor to formulate a plan. Dr was as stunned as we were as to why the RE
sent us to a family doctor to control insulin resistance when it was infact caused by PCOS.
Started metformin er 750 mg twice a day.
Ovulated and had af all on my own.
December 2011- took a pregnancy test at 6 dpo which showed a BFP!!!!! ECSTATIC!!!!!!!!!!! Couldn't
believe it!
Took more hpt's and all showed negative. Found out the brand I was using was recalled for
false positives, FML.
Metformin upped to 2000 mg's a day.
Fertility plan still unknown at this point.
So as you can see, this is not me being negative, its just the facts! Just so we're clear, nothing good happened this year, nothing really, I swear. I am clinically depressed at this point. Mainly because we cannot continue on with fertility treatments because my body is hardly responding to metformin. I really hope 2012 is a better year for us. The only thing that could happen to be worse is to loose my other tube or have another m/c. It has got to be a good year. I'm going to get my body into tip top shape for a baby!
A small update
So I hope everyone had a good holiday. Mine was decent.
Had my most recent doctors appointment yesterday with the family doctor. As all of you know our RE has stopped seeing us until my a1c of 6.8 is dropped down and under control-I don't know what he wants it to get to-according to all of our research, anything under 7 is considered "under control". So I started metformin a few weeks ago and attempted to change my diet.
I refuse to use the term "going on a diet" because that's just stupid. If you are at a point where you need to go on a diet its because your daily diet sucks... So you don't need a diet, you need a daily diet overhaul. A permanent change.
My blood sugars seemed to be fairly decent. However, I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy a few weeks ago and had to take some pretty impressive steroids. Found out those will screw up your blood sugar.
Anywho, went in for that and had some blood drawn to check it. I did a home check a few weeks ago and it was 6.7, down 1/10th, but thats not good enough of a change for me. I hope it is lower now.
My family doctor, which I hand picked because I use to work with him in the ER, is awesome. He listens to me and gets the job at hand done and delt with. He has been our doctor since our miscarriage, he found the hydrosalphinx and got us to the obgyn and RE. However, at this appointment I really was questioning his knowledge of anything. He was trying to find a way to get my blood sugars down and told me that he was going to put me on birth control... WHAT!!??.. He said to regulate my cycles and get rid of insulin resistance. I was like, um, doctor.. excuse me but I have PCOS and the second I come off of that birth control pill which I hate so much, everything will go right back to the way it was. He went and talked to the attending doctor who told him it would be pointless to put me on bc since it would be defeating the whole purpose of us being here, a pregnancy. So he upped my metformin to 1000 mg twice a day. Up from my 1500 mg a day. We will see how this goes. He is going to call my RE tomorrow and ask him what he is expecting of us. Which is pretty awesome of him to do.
I am ready to get this situated because me not getting af on my own like I did last month is pissing me off. In my last post I told you that I started provera again, which as we all know means I will not ovulate and have a real period... Which means I will go through an AF where I cant even ttc... Because I wont ovulate after provera, right? So this really sucks, I don't really know what I am to do right now.
Had my most recent doctors appointment yesterday with the family doctor. As all of you know our RE has stopped seeing us until my a1c of 6.8 is dropped down and under control-I don't know what he wants it to get to-according to all of our research, anything under 7 is considered "under control". So I started metformin a few weeks ago and attempted to change my diet.
I refuse to use the term "going on a diet" because that's just stupid. If you are at a point where you need to go on a diet its because your daily diet sucks... So you don't need a diet, you need a daily diet overhaul. A permanent change.
My blood sugars seemed to be fairly decent. However, I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy a few weeks ago and had to take some pretty impressive steroids. Found out those will screw up your blood sugar.
Anywho, went in for that and had some blood drawn to check it. I did a home check a few weeks ago and it was 6.7, down 1/10th, but thats not good enough of a change for me. I hope it is lower now.
My family doctor, which I hand picked because I use to work with him in the ER, is awesome. He listens to me and gets the job at hand done and delt with. He has been our doctor since our miscarriage, he found the hydrosalphinx and got us to the obgyn and RE. However, at this appointment I really was questioning his knowledge of anything. He was trying to find a way to get my blood sugars down and told me that he was going to put me on birth control... WHAT!!??.. He said to regulate my cycles and get rid of insulin resistance. I was like, um, doctor.. excuse me but I have PCOS and the second I come off of that birth control pill which I hate so much, everything will go right back to the way it was. He went and talked to the attending doctor who told him it would be pointless to put me on bc since it would be defeating the whole purpose of us being here, a pregnancy. So he upped my metformin to 1000 mg twice a day. Up from my 1500 mg a day. We will see how this goes. He is going to call my RE tomorrow and ask him what he is expecting of us. Which is pretty awesome of him to do.
I am ready to get this situated because me not getting af on my own like I did last month is pissing me off. In my last post I told you that I started provera again, which as we all know means I will not ovulate and have a real period... Which means I will go through an AF where I cant even ttc... Because I wont ovulate after provera, right? So this really sucks, I don't really know what I am to do right now.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
eh, whatever
I have been meaning to type up a new post, but I just haven't had the time lately! During my 2ww I had a positive hpt but then found out that the tests I had (same lot number and all) were being recalled for false positives. It is kind of funny now, I mean, I am really upset about it... But go figure, right?! Things just don't really seem to shock me anymore. So, I am about 19 dpo or something like that, AF never showed despite the fact that I started all on my own last month.
I started my first dose of provera yesterday and I am in hormonal hell. Everything is making me upset, I HATE THIS! I hate taking provera, its like, a reminder that my body sucks so bad that it can't even do its most common function. It also feels like giving up. I try to keep hope through every cycle and I never want to quit believing that this is my month... but 19dpo and nothing...its time to start provera.
That being said, today is my birthday. Nothing special happened. I went to work where I had the strangest psych patient. I came home to a husband on the couch watching movies all day and a trashed house. I was so upset I just went to lay down in bed. I slept until about 6pm, woke up and here I am. Nothing planned, no cake, no dinner. I don't know what I expected. I guess I thought dh would have flowers...or something, I couldn't even get him to rub my feet... I guess my birthdays are just not as special as they use to be, its like no one gives a damn anymore.
I have a follow up appointment with my family doctor tomorrow to recheck my a1c level and I can tell you right now that it has not changed. I've been on my metformin, but when I was diagnosed with bells palsy I had some heavy steroids to take and I was told that they would throw my sugar levels off big time. On the plus side I have lost 5 more pounds this month... thats something my family doc doesnt really seem to care about to much. All this appointment is going to prove is that I am a failure and I will not be returning to the RE in January, go figure, right.
It just seems to be hard to have much faith anymore, faith is running low. I feel a bit cheated. I'm getting sick of hearing "oops, we accidently got pregnant, we didn't even want kids" or something of that nature. It all just makes me a little.. I don't know what word i'm looking for.
I feel like I am flirting with the line of sanity and insanity.
I started my first dose of provera yesterday and I am in hormonal hell. Everything is making me upset, I HATE THIS! I hate taking provera, its like, a reminder that my body sucks so bad that it can't even do its most common function. It also feels like giving up. I try to keep hope through every cycle and I never want to quit believing that this is my month... but 19dpo and nothing...its time to start provera.
That being said, today is my birthday. Nothing special happened. I went to work where I had the strangest psych patient. I came home to a husband on the couch watching movies all day and a trashed house. I was so upset I just went to lay down in bed. I slept until about 6pm, woke up and here I am. Nothing planned, no cake, no dinner. I don't know what I expected. I guess I thought dh would have flowers...or something, I couldn't even get him to rub my feet... I guess my birthdays are just not as special as they use to be, its like no one gives a damn anymore.
I have a follow up appointment with my family doctor tomorrow to recheck my a1c level and I can tell you right now that it has not changed. I've been on my metformin, but when I was diagnosed with bells palsy I had some heavy steroids to take and I was told that they would throw my sugar levels off big time. On the plus side I have lost 5 more pounds this month... thats something my family doc doesnt really seem to care about to much. All this appointment is going to prove is that I am a failure and I will not be returning to the RE in January, go figure, right.
It just seems to be hard to have much faith anymore, faith is running low. I feel a bit cheated. I'm getting sick of hearing "oops, we accidently got pregnant, we didn't even want kids" or something of that nature. It all just makes me a little.. I don't know what word i'm looking for.
I feel like I am flirting with the line of sanity and insanity.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I give up.
I'm sorry everyone. I give up, at least I really want to give up, but even I know that I will still care. What I want is to not care anymore. I'm so broken hearted, I just don't think I can dO it much longer.
I got a positive hpt the day before yesterday and I found out today that those tests were being recalled for false positives. I tried to tell myself that it was a real positive, but all of my tests have been negative since... With the exception of a few faint lines (but they were the same brand, so it doesn't really matter). I've Ben through three miscarriages and so many chemicals... I just don't see how I can take it anymore. My faith is shaken, I am so depressed. I am entering a dark place I never wanted to be again. I just give up on everything. I don't know what to do anymore.
I hope I can snap out of this.
I got a positive hpt the day before yesterday and I found out today that those tests were being recalled for false positives. I tried to tell myself that it was a real positive, but all of my tests have been negative since... With the exception of a few faint lines (but they were the same brand, so it doesn't really matter). I've Ben through three miscarriages and so many chemicals... I just don't see how I can take it anymore. My faith is shaken, I am so depressed. I am entering a dark place I never wanted to be again. I just give up on everything. I don't know what to do anymore.
I hope I can snap out of this.
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