Sunday, December 11, 2011

I give up.

    I am so confused. Did I ovulate, or not.  Which should I trust... a $400 machine or a .50 cent dipstick?  Everyone on my countdowntopregnancy.com page is swearing by the sticks, but i'm just not sold yet.  So today I am either 4dpo or I haven't ovulated yet.  This really sucks.  I feel like I can't count down to test day yet, but I can at the same time. I really just don't know what to do.  I am still testing everyday/night with my ovacue and using the opk's just incase I have not ovulated yet, so I will catch it. I hope my husband doesn't read this but I have accidently  missed a whole day (2 doses) of my metformin and I wonder if that would throw my ovulation off completely (?).

    I just feel like I should give up, at least for this cycle anyway.  I thought since I was getting AF all on my own now with just metformin that I didn't need the RE... at least for a while anyway, but now I feel like I cannot do anything without his overpriced help.  Have any of you ever been in this situation? I feel like I am stuck in limbo, and right around Christmas and my birthday. Are these standard feelings of the two week wait. I mean, most women know when they ovulated, right? My ovacue confirmed ovulation.. I just don't know if I can trust it. GOD, I REALLY HATE THIS.

    I really don't know what to do.

On top of that, I made another blog video the other night that I focused on the cold truths of infertility and my camera died right in the middle of me talking to myself! It didn't even save any of it! I am trying to gather my thoughts back up so I can do another.. but that one was so unscripted and genuine, I felt like it really came from the heart.

It feels like my efforts have gone to hell. And when I get my bfn in a week it will be a big  "I told you so"

Posted by Jenna at 11:30 AM
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2 comments:

  1. twomorefeetDecember 11, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    I do not trust those stupid sticks! They don't work for me, and many people who have PCOS have told me the same!

    But, yeah, I think those are standard TWW feelings. Infertility has caused us all to be so cynical, and to not trust anything about our bodies. (or at least, I feel that way.) I'm not 100% sure when I ovulate, but even if I was sure, I wouldn't believe it. :(

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  2. JennaDecember 11, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    So should I trust the ovacue? I feel like I want to, I just don't know. I felt like I was completely out until I started cramping today. Yeah, cramping, and my hips feel like they are coming apart... Isn't that crazy? Now I feel like I have either ovulated and missed my egg or I ovulated and caught it and i'm still not going to get pregnant anyway... geeezeee!

    I guess I will get through the next ten days, even if it is sheer hell, lol

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